Punishment.

There are consequences for everything you do in life.  Sometimes we don’t acknowledge them as consequences, but everything you do lays the foundation for the future.  Sometimes the consequences are apparent, and sometimes they are implied.

If you have been following my blog then you may recall that I was given an assignment the other night that I did not complete on time.  I knew there would be punishment, and I actually looked forward to the punishment.  The biggest punishment was probably self-inflicted as I felt bad about disappointing my Sir.

I’be always been hard on myself.  I don’t like failing and I never half-ass do anything.  If something is worth my time, it is going to be done to the best I’ve my ability.  I like the satisfaction of completing something successfully.  This applies to every aspect of my daily life. My job, my hobbies, my relationships, everything.  So, needless to say, when I was unable to complete an assignment for my Sir, I was pretty bummed with myself.

He was honestly much more accepting, for lack of a better term, than I was.  Not to say there wasn’t consequences, but he was calm and percise.   He was almost comforting to me, as talking to him about it made me relax some and stop being so hard on myself.   But he told me I would have a punishment when I got home nonetheless.

The anticipation of a punishment was exciting.  I know punishments are supposed to be punishment, but I was looking forward to it.  Mostly because I have never been punished before.  I was excited for the experience and not for the actual punishment I guess. I didn’t know what to expect in a punishment, or what he would require from me.

The punishment seemed pretty simple:

1. I was to be naked, completely exposed until morning.

2. I was given a writing task that was meant to make me uncomfortable, maybe embarass me.

3. I was to sleep on the floor naked, no blankets with my hands bound.  I would have to earn the right to sleep in his bed again.

I was already close to naked anyway, as he requires my pussy and ass to be accessible at all times.  Basically I just had a shirt on at the time.  After removing the shirt I was told to get on cam for him.  I’m getting more comfortable being on cam for him, but still feel pretty exposed, and nervous.  After a little bit of talk I was instructed to get started on my writing assignment.

The writing assignment was a story that turned into a roleplay situation between him and I.  The subject, while out of my comfort zone, brought back memories of personal experiences.  This assignment, which was supposed to be embarrassing and uncomfortable all of a sudden felt more real.

I wrote this story, and I was turned on by it.  Maybe I shouldn’t have been, but I was.  My story became our story as we roleplayed through it, expanding on the scenario I had written.  This was hot, mentally and physically arousing.  We played out details of this story and in my mind I was there.  I felt like I was the character in the story mentally and physically.  This experience was new for me. It felt dirty. It felt wrong. But I liked it.

Lastly, I readied for bed.  Alone in the dark I was left to think.  I wrote him an email and thanked him for my punishment before tying my hands and settling in to my bed.  After thinking for a short while, I drifted off to sleep, and I slept hard.

I woke up a few hours later.  I was cold.  Freezing.  The parts of my body that weren’t numb hurt.  I tried to wake up a little better hoping to warm up.  It didn’t work.  I ended up safe wording and getting some blankets.  His intentions were never for me to freeze, but for me to feel exposed.  I stayed on the floor because I didnt deserve to sleep in his bed yet, but I needed some covers.

Before falling asleep again, I thought more.  Laying there with my wrist bound, on the floor, I thought.  I was a mix of emotions.  I was disappointed in myself for failing his assignment.  I was proud of myself for pursuing my desires to be a slave.  I was thankful.  Thankful that he gave me the opportunity to explore myself and my desires.  Thankful that he has given me a chance.  And I smiled before drifting back off to sleep.

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