This morning I woke up about 30 minutes before my alarm went off. Normally I would toss and turn, whine and complain about my few minutes off lost sleep. But not today; today my body woke up on a mission. A mission to either earn me punishment or make me suffer.
See, I have been forbidden to touch or play, and specifically ordered not to come for 1 week. My initials thoughts were thoughts of a whiny brat, all I could think of was “this is so unfair”. But then I rememebered, this could be worse, he has given me a time frame, and a relatively short time frame. With this realization, my bratty attitude turned grateful pretty quick. I convinced myself that I could do this. That I would be a good sub and make him proud. After all, only a few weeks ago going a week or more before masturbating wasn’t really that far out of the norm, and sometimes even then I didn’t come. I only had 1 week.
So I had to make a choice, get in a quick come and be punished, or make myself suffer with desire. My need to please him won out. Although I’m kind of looking forward to my first punishment experience, I can’t allow myself to purposely misbehave in hopes of punishment. So here I was on day 2, and I was given 1 week.
This was a huge eye opener to me, I realized that I was a spoiled brat in a sense, I was used to getting my way. I don’t really remember when the last time someone told me no. Yet here I was being sexually aroused by giving up control. Letting someone else make decisions for me, personal decisions. I was so wet, so aroused, and I couldn’t do anything about it. 1 week.
Just this realization compounded my sexual frustrations. I realized that my sexual thoughts were controlled by him. By giving up control of my orgasm he was keeping my desire high. Keeping my desire high was keeping my thoughts on the needed release. The release was controlled by him. So all day I think of him, and when he will allow me my next release.
So here I wait , counting down the days. 1 week. One week isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things. But too my body it feels like an eternity. The aching desire centered deep in my sex, the desire for him to use me, grows day by day thought by though. 1 week.